"I am drunk, or I wouldn’t be talking to you" -Archer
(via archerquotes)
tastefullyoffensive:

"I took my cat on his first walk yesterday." -GarbageCanHands

tastefullyoffensive:

"I took my cat on his first walk yesterday." -GarbageCanHands

mikkarychan:

I’m dead

mikkarychan:

I’m dead

WHEN THE DRIVER REFUSES TO PULL OVER SO I CAN CAPTURE A PORTAL

krokodile:

things that i love: day geckos licking things

bluediamond-og:

horchata-princess:

mi-shellvp:

estasfuera:

“A little bit of Monica in my life,A little bit of Erica by my side,A little bit of Rita is all I need,A little bit of Tina is what I see,A little bit of Sandra in the sun,A little bit of Mary all night long,A little bit of Jessica, here I am…”

If you don’t know this reference, you’re definitely too young for me. 

bless

Lmao yesss

bluediamond-og:

horchata-princess:

mi-shellvp:

estasfuera:

“A little bit of Monica in my life,
A little bit of Erica by my side,
A little bit of Rita is all I need,
A little bit of Tina is what I see,
A little bit of Sandra in the sun,
A little bit of Mary all night long,
A little bit of Jessica, here I am…”

If you don’t know this reference, you’re definitely too young for me. 

bless

Lmao yesss

doubleclickthepony:

shootingstarsafterdark:

Now we can observe the before unseen and rare mating dance of the pegasus, attempting to attract a possible mate. Unknowing that the female they are dancing for is not pegasus and still new to their wings. Although the pegasus instinct seems to be kicking in as reacting to the dance performed before them.

Once upon a time I declared that the Internet needed some pigeon inspired pegasus mating dance.

Now it is done.

That is all.

Pfft!  Thunderlane the pigeon.  

I love how Twilight can’t decide whether to be aroused or horrified.  XD

wsswatson:

skygosh:

wsswatson:

i feel like i’d enjoy being an assassin if it didn’t involve killing people

what if instead of killing people you got hired to just ruin their day.  like the mafia or someone paid you to park behind someone’s car so they can’t back out of a spot when they’re in a rush in the morning and you make them late for work.

i would enjoy that immensely

there is a long list of people that i would gladly do that to without payment

That’s how I handle life everyday

feferiden:

gingerhaze:

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This is the realest shit